Sep. 9th, 2008 | 12:30 am
I’m feeling: content

[I edited the post for grammar and punctuation 7-5-2019. This was a post after my first time going to Jury Duty. I was 20.]

Sitting there in Jury Duty was so surreal. Although it was no event, it definitely went beyond a lot of experiences in my life. It was pretty stellar. Sitting there in a pool of your peers. I don’t mean it in a sense of like people my age, but my people. It’s weird I made no direct links to any of them, but I feel that if that group had been different people I wouldn’t have been as comfortable. I was able to sit there among these people and I felt good, I felt safe, and I felt like I belonged.

It was a scary thought for me last night. Being alone for a long time for the first time in a place where I was unfamiliar. But as I looked at the sea of over 400 heads I realized something. None of these people have their friends here with them. They came alone, and shall leave alone. They don’t express fear, because there is no reason for it. There are times when you must stray from safety. If you stay in the nest too long, you can’t fly. I think that this Jury Duty did a lot for me today.

I saw lots of different people. All coming together. Maybe that’s what made it so surreal. There was a nun there, which through me for a loop. I was shocked. There were people of all different ages, weights, colors, heights, straight, gay, rich, poor. There were some people that looked like assholes, some I wanted to just go hug, some I wanted to ask millions of questions. I saw great acts of kindness. This young girl bought a bottle of water for herself and this handicapped woman. Just because. I saw people saying excuse me and thank you. Strangers talking about their lives and making friends. It was a great feeling….eventually which subsided after being there for almost 8 hours and being able to do nothing but read.

It felt like a giant study hall. And it was amazing, I saw adults acting like the children they so freely berate. Adults in their thirties and forties sneaking their cellphones out and texting when they were specifically told not to, whispering and passing notes, sneaking sips of their juice and sodas. Hiding a bag of chips in their purse. It really reminded me of High School. Simple rules that went broken, and we all saw them, yet no one spoke up. We were a band. We were brought together by our equal hate of serving our courts. It was like we were a team. In the eight hours we were there only one person got yelled at. Me. I got caught texting, and was briefly sent out of the Jury Pool. But shit happens. With my phone off I had nothing to do but read.

I did almost finish my book though. I’m reading Hardcore Diaries by Mick Foley. It’s a very interesting book and it’s actually his first book that has been able to make me laugh out loud. I have tons of respect for Mick Foley, he is an idle of mine. He is completely computer-illiterate so he writes his novels on dozens of bound notebooks by hand and then hands them to his publisher to be typed, edited, and revised. He is by no means the greatest author in the world, but he is a two time New York Times #1 Bestseller. The reason I, and I assume many other people, enjoy his work is because he write the way people talk. He’s not very loquacious but he is very eloquent. Reading each of his books has been like have a conversation with him. He’s written three auto-biographies, two children books, and two short novels. I’ve only read his auto-biographies because that is what I enjoy. And they have been by far the best reads of my life. I have never read an auto-biography twice before. By I have read Mick Foley’s Have A Nice Day three times since I bought it in ’99. The book is falling apart and quite tattered, but something I hold near and dear.

Sorry I got side-tracked, I just had to share my love for Mick. I also realized something today. I was walking home, talking to myself. (Yes, I said talking to myself. I’ll explain it shortly.)  When I said something very profound. It was actually so profound I recorded it on my phone so as to not forget my exact wording.

“As long as you remember where you came from, you can never really be lost. Whoa, I meant that in terms of direction, but it transcends direction and goes into a whole metaphorical life lesson.”

What I meant was if I remembered where Bowdoin station was, it didn’t matter where I walked off to, because I could always backtrack and start from there again. I got lost quite a few times on my way to the courthouse. But I was able to keep backtracking until I got it right. By got it right I mean stopped and asked a cop. But I made the point. Remember where you came from. And then I realized how that could be applied to so many aspects of life. Never forget where you came from, and you’ll always know where you are. Reminds me of another quote

“Don’t let your past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you will become.”

Now that I mentioned everything I wanted to, I hope so anyway, I’d like to go back to that talking to myself thing. I don’t exactly TALK to myself. It’s like I work myself up. Sometimes I get very inspired to blog. As many of you know I have a memory that falters as well. Without a pen or paper I will often “blog to myself” out loud. That way I get an idea of how I want to phrase things and set them up. Also, by saying it out loud there’s a greater chance that I will remember it. By hearing the words out loud it sort of boosts my memory. It’s quite helpful. It doesn’t always work, but more times than not it helps. Also it gives me something to do when I’m walking without my IPOD. As sad as it sends I often sing, or talk to myself *out loud* on my walks home as both forms of entertainment and creativity. Half of this blog was rehearsed on my walk from the Suffolk Court to Bowdoin station. I don’t realize if people look at me or not, I don’t care frankly. It’s not like I’m crazy. I’m just creative LOL. Not to mention, why carry so much thought into what people think of you, when chances are you will never see them again.

We spend more time thinking about what people think of us than anything else. Did you know that? And the sad part is, While we’re thinking “I wonder what they are thinking about me.” chances are they aren’t or they’re thinking “I wonder what they  are thinking about me.” Go figure huh.

Well i think I’ve left you with enough stuff to mull over for today. This is one of my greatest blogs in a while I think ^_^. It’s deep and informative. Not only tells you about my day but tells you about life. Which, I think, is why my blog is as popular as it is. For entries like this. Don’t you agree?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s