Falling In Love at 4.

I remember the first time I really fell in love. I was four years old and she was about Thirty-four. She worked at a local store where my mother would go roughly once a week. I was always so excited to go because I might get to see Gina. She always called me handsome or cutie and gave me kisses on the cheek! What’s not to love about this woman!

I was convinced there was no other woman for me! We went to the grocery store one day and I asked for quarters so I could get something out of the little toy vending machine. Maybe I’d get a sticky hand on a string, or a little figurine of a latino man, or a smily face bouncy ball. 25 cents got you the best toys (not really) that you’d cherish forever (on the way home).

I popped in my quarter, turned the dial, and out popped my mystery prize. A ring. A girly ring. What am I ever going to do with a girl’s ri-


My mom says sure and off we go. Gina’s working! With all my 4 year old charms, I got down on one knee in front of the register, and said “Gina, will you marry me.”

There was a lot of awwws and a lot of laughing. I just assumed that they were laughing because that’s what grownups do. She gave me a multitude of kisses on the cheek and said yes.

Oh that was it, I was a made man. I had crushed it. I had the prettiest wife on earth. Nown I still expected to go home with my mom, and only to ever see Gina at the store. I didn’t even expect a wedding ceremony. She took the ring. She was my wife. End of story. Don’t look at my woman like that sir.

Shortly after, and I don’t remember how soon after our wedding, I went to the store with my mom. Gina was not there. It happens on occasion that she had days off, so I was a little miffed my wife wasn’t there, but MAYBE next time. She wasn’t there for a few weeks. I was growing concerned. What’s happened to my wife?

Then Gina was back one day and I’ll never forget it. I told her I had missed her and asked where she had been.

She went on her honeymoon.

You went on our honeymoon without me?

“No, I really got married.”

Now, at four I didn’t tend to swear at people, and I definitely didn’t swear then, but what the fuck Gina?!

“What do you mean you really got married?……. but I married you first! “

I tell people this story and then jokingly tell them that’s why I’m gay. Gina ruined me for all women after that. I’m joking though I still always like Gina. I haven’t seen her in almost 25 years but I bet she’s still just as pretty.

The reason I tell you that story is because you will fall in love many times in many ways. My love for Gina taught me that I understood nothing about love yet. The concepts were so foreign to me, but I was right.

I did love Gina. Everytime I saw her she made me smile and made me feel special (plus she was super pretty). Those are literally the only criteria for a 4 year olds love. They don’t care about logistics just about how you make them feel. A four year old will also befriend a goat, so there’s that. I also learned that someone can say I love you… then go marry someone else.

That’s a valuable lesson to learn at 4. The next time I fell in love was another lesson. One I’ll have to tell you about next time…

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