My first meditation

I am a fan of meditation but it’s not something I regularly do. I know people who meditate daily and swear by it as a mood enhancer, a mind clearer, or just to get to sleep at night. I’ve meditated more than a few times over the years and had wonderful results it’s just not something I feel compelled to do daily.

Today I found myself home alone for a little while which is something that I rarely seem to have anymore. I thought I’d take the time to burn a little sage (because I don’t have incense here) and meditate.

I’ve mentioned before how I’m very into the metaphysical and I feel that meditation can fall into that category as well. It helps your energies, chakras, and magic flow. I don’t usually talk about this sort of stuff with everyone I know, so some people may be shocked to know how much weight I have in the magic that is in our lives.

I started to burn some sage, and I let my new Moss Agate ring get circled by the smoke. I had zen meditation music playing in the background inspired with sounds of nature. I chose nature because Moss Agate is supposed to be in tune with nature itself, so I felt inspired to play that one.

I closed my eyes, straitened up in the chair, and focused on my breathing. Almost instantly I was brought back to a memory I had as a young kid. I’m not even sure of what grade I was in because it was so long ago, but I think it was 1st grade. It’s a memory I hadn’t thought about in decades.

My teacher had brought in a cassette that she was going to play for us. She wanted us to all close our eyes and put our heads down in the most comfortable position we could possibly be sitting up at a desk . She put the cassette in and hit play and some soothing soft music started to play. I didn’t know it then, but she was introducing us to meditation and didn’t even use the word. As the music began to really hum and vibrate through the room a man started to speak very softly and almost with a rhythmic hum of his own.

A photo of a woman teaching kids to meditate

He began walking us through the steps of meditation. I don’t remember the exact words but I’m sure it was something akin to the most basic of meditation guides.

Take deep slow breaths, counting backwards from 10 with each deep breath.
Envision the tension leaving your body with every exhale.
Imagine it flowing from your shoulders out through your mouth. Continue like that with your arms, then your hands. Imagine each exhale carrying out negative energy from each of your body parts, until you feel a calm clean slate.
etc. etc.

I remember vaguely the voice guiding us somewhere where there were trees and water. It continued for a while but the next thing I knew I was waking up. The meditation had completely knocked me out. That’s how at peace I was, I fell asleep.

I remember asking the teacher if I could borrow it and she said yes.
I was so excited that I went home and later that evening I did the same again. I put the cassette in my grandmothers radio in her living room and I laid down on the floor while she was in the kitchen doing her Search-A-Words. I listened to the whole tape and just meditated. Here I was roughly 7 years old meditating and not even knowing it, just thinking my teacher had a really odd cassette that made me relaxed.

I don’t think I meditated much after that until I was much older and started getting into the metaphysical reasons to meditate. I remember once wanting to know what my spirit animal was. I didn’t think an online quiz was the exact way to figure out my what of animal was guiding me in my life. Someone told me the only was outside of having someone read your spirit animal was to meditate yourself and focus on that.

I figure I would give it a shot and the worse that would happen would be nothing. That didn’t sound too bad to me. I lit incense and a candle, and set on my bed with my legs crossed and tried to meditate. I had googled tips on how to meditate, just simple basic things to get me started. I don’t even think I had meditation music playing, I’m fairly certain I sat there silently.

Basic guide to meditating

The strangest thing started to happen though. Anybody who has had their eyes closed long enough will start to see shapes and patters in the nothingness that is behind your eyelids. I started to see animals. At first it was just one. I had always expected and slightly hoped that my spirit animal was a wolf. I’m not sure why, maybe it’s the lure of the wolf or how bad ass it seems. I just assumed it would be a wolf. It wasn’t. The first thing I saw was a scorpion. Very vividly it seemed to be outlined in the nothingness. I was surprised because I didn’t even consider a scorpion to be an animal, I thought of it as a bug.

Then it faded quickly away and I saw an owl. Once again it was very distinct in the nothingness, very clearly an owl even without having definition. It was bizzare. A few more animals passed as snapshots in a rather quick succession. Once they seemed to stop I opened my eyes and grabbed my phone. I hit the voice record and said clearly and slowly each animal that I saw so that I could look them up later. It’s been years but I remember most of them

Scorpion, Owl, Wolf, Bear…..they are the only ones I remember, and I’m not sure if I have that sound file anymore on my old phone.

Scorpion: Rebirth
Owl: wisdom and seers
Wolf: Intelligent, social
Bear: Strength, Healing, Grounding

Back then they didn’t sound like traits I had but little did I know that they would be traits I would start to see and notice in myself as I got older and deeper into the metaphysical. I couldn’t figure out one thing though, I thought we had A spirit animal not a FEW spirit animals. Luckily you can google just about anything now a days. I took the google and found out that people have many spirit animals, and that’s what native American Totem Poles were. They were all of a persons spirit animals carved out of wood.

I had seen my totem of animals. It could very well be that I saw what I wanted to see and my bored mind just took over but I’d like to believe it was an authentic experience. Especially because I saw multiple animals and wolf wasn’t the firs thing I saw when it sure as well was the first thing I wanted to see.

When I do meditate it often brings me calmness if nothing else. I feel deeply relaxed and completely re energized. On occasion it has brought me more than just relaxation.

Meditating today made me remember that first memory of the cassette. That first memory made me want to blog about meditation. Which helped me remember the totem memory. The totem memory had me googling spirit animals again today. Not only did I have scorpion which has the rebirth or new beginnings meaning way back when. I also found out that your spirit animals can change as you grow. Seeing them often is a sign that they might be your spirit animals, so I googled what a butterfly spirit animal would mean since they’ve been very clearly around me.

  • Powerful transformation, metamorphosis in your life, personality
  • Moving through different life cycles
  • Renewal, rebirth
  • Lightness of being, playfulness
  • Elevation from earthly matters, tuning into emotional or spiritual
  • The world of the soul, the psyche


What started as a blog about meditation quickly ended up right back in the butterflies. I think I’m starting to obsess. I think it means something new is definitely coming my way. Either that or I’m just wrapped up in a story my mind is making to explain away all these butterfly’s and signs.

I go back to my famous catchphrase now:

How many coincidences before it stops being a coincidence?

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