I have 5 drafts on this site that I’ve started and never finished or posted. Some dating as far back as February. I had to write at least SOMETHING! Finish it, edit it, post it. THAT IS MY GOAL FOR TODAY SINCE I COULDN’T STICK TO MY GOAL OF WRITING EVERY WEEK!!
One of the hardest things about writing for me is that I always fall out of it. I’m often told by people that my writing is really good, and that if I continued to work on it I’d have a lot of potential.
I hear that about a lot of the things I do unfortunately. People say I’m a “Jack of all trades”. The expression usually associated with it though is “Jack of all trades, master of none.”
What people don’t realize is that’s actually a partial quote. The full quote is “Jack of all trades, master of none. Though oftentimes better than master of one.”
I want nothing more than to write. I always say that I don’t have time…then I find myself sitting on the couch for hours on end watching the same reruns of Bob’s Burgers over and over again.
I don’t have time for Yoga, I don’t have time to clean, I don’t have time to write, I don’t have much time do I?
Yet there I am, either at work or laid up on the couch watch repeats of the same shows, not even catching up on new shows because…well…I don’t have time to start a new show.
I’m starting to realize that the phrase “I don’t have time” is a lie.
Actually…It’s not a lie. I don’t have time. Time slips away like the sand in an hour glass and I’m just watching it until there’s no sand left.
That’s not going to work for me anymore. I’ve been motivated before and I’m sure that I’ll be motivated again, but I’m going to genuinely do more. I want to be free and enjoy life.
2020 has been an absolute shit show. We were all worried about 2012 and yet here 2020 was like a slap to the face.
This year has taught me a lot about time. The whole year zoomed by faster than any other year so far. With so much free time that people had, you’d think so much more would have been done. It wasn’t for lack of trying though.
I fortunately/unfortunately continued working during the pandemic so I didn’t have the option to stay home or work from home.
It might not be this pandemic that gets me though. I might live to be 100 years old with a million health problems. Maybe I’ll live to be 68 but my legs will get amputated. Maybe a stroke will take me out at 47. Maybe a car will take me out tomorrow on my walk to work at 32.
The point, is not to live in fear. Which is my usual M.O.
The point is to live in faith. Nothing is promised. Nobody will be in my life my entire life….except for myself. So I need to start making things happen for myself.
I’m going to be trying more things…and one of the things is going to be writing here more again. Something that I’ve promised on more than one occasion.
Hopefully this time it sticks.
Is it worth having epiphanies if they never sink in?
As much as I let fear and inhibition rule my life, I’ve had some incredibly magic and unique experiences. Imagine what would happen if I finally let go and relax.
Let’s see if I can make some magic happen…. I’ll keep you posted.