Why do I write?

Why do you write?

I remember the first time I saw the movie Julie & Julia and it was immediately a favorite film of mine.It’s also a book if you’re not into movies. It’s based on the true story of how Julie Powell turned her love of Julia Child and cooking into a successful blog and book. Not only do I love to cook, but I’ve always loved to read and write as well. I’m also very big on characters and their stories because I’m a bit of an Empath. To me the whole story, or should I say stories, was captivating from beginning to end.

So, why do I write?

When I was in high school, I remember a friend of mine suggesting that I sign up for something called LiveJournal. [Most of my Classic Posts come from there] I didn’t know what it was at the time, she essentially told me that it was like a personal journal, but it was out there for the entire world to read. I couldn’t imagine that anyone would want to read any of my day to day life. I also felt, after years of my mother telling me to keep my personal life personal, that in doing so I was doing some sort of injustice.

Growing up I always wanted to keep a journal and would often buy new journals and new pens, write for a few days or maybe even a week or two, then dismiss the journal because I was too busy. I’m sure my basement is littered with notebook that are pristine except for the first 10 pages or so.

Something about LiveJournal was different though, I wrote almost every single day. Some days would be very lengthy posts while others were incredibly short. I had a group of friends, and almost all of us were on LiveJournal so we would comment on each others posts but we never discussed them face to face. Some posts would see dozens of comments and others saw none. I just enjoyed the act of venting. It became much easier to command a keyboard than a pen and pencil because it was legible and it had spellcheck.

Looking back on my blog some of it is quite shameful. I’m an emotional and at the time I was also very angsty, depressed, and obsessive. I’ve gotten a much better handle on myself and on life, but it’s interesting and embarrassing to go back and read some of those posts. There’s a lot of substance there though. I can see a lot of my current self starting to bud at that young age. As I got older, I started blogging less because you can’t talk about work the way you talk about school. The last thing in the world you want is someone from corporate reading all the zany things you do at work. Plus that instilled shame from my mother that things need to be private.

When I got older I got Myspace and started blogging on there. At first I copied and pasted my posts from LiveJournal but before long I was simply blogging on Myspace. I deleted my Myspace though so all those posts are lost to the ages. Years would go by and then I started to slowly phase away from Myspace and started blogging on Facebook but it was not nearly as often.

It seemed that when I was miserable and alone I had so much more to talk about.

I started a weight loss journey blog about 7 years ago, and it went on for a very short while. Although I kept up with the weight loss I did not keep up with the blogging about it. It was a different dynamic there and I found it to be less fulfilling.

I’ve written dozens and dozens of short stories over the years and have STARTED several books that haven’t gone past 15 to 20 pages on Microsoft Word. I did once write a complete short book when I was in high school. Handwritten in a blue spiral notebook that I HOPE is somewhere in my basement in Boston. I will definitely edit and type it up if I can find it.

I’ve always wanted to write since I was little. I don’t care what, I just enjoy the process of words going from my mind to a physical place where I can see them. I’m currently working on two books. I say currently working on, but what I actually mean is I have two save files on my boyfriends computer that I seldom open.

One is an autobiographical book about the psychic and medium moments that I’ve had. Yes you read that correctly. It hasn’t come up at all in my blogs yet, but I’m apparently gifted. Not gifted enough that I could make a steady income doing readings, but I’ve had far too many coincidences to ignore.

My second book is a Young Adult fiction novel which is based around a teenage gay witch. Who would have thought?

I’ve had several ideas for books that I’ve started and never finished. I’ve also had countless creative things that I threw away in a fit of rage, which now that I’ve grown I regret immensely. I’ve recently realized though that the only thing holding me back was myself. That if I didn’t continue to try that I was GUARANTEEING it would never happen.

So this blog is my first steps into the foray of writing consistently. I am already growing a fan base on WordPress and although I can’t gauge if I’m growing at a common rate or some exponentially high rate, I know I’m growing and that’s exciting. My goal is to continue this blog until my writing has gotten more consistent and I’ve really found my voice.

They say you should write about what you know. It took me forever to realize what I know, because I know a little bit of everything but not much of anything. Then I realized I know myself. It took me years to realize it, but I’ve got that down. Even when I don’t know what the hell I’m doing or my anxiety is through the roof I UNDERSTAND what’s going on and I can either talk myself out of it or at least explain why I’m acting this way to someone else.

So for the first time in my life, I’m going to set a 5 year goal for myself. I’m making it public so I can be held accountable. By the time I am 36 years old I plan to have two published books. They don’t need to be on the New York Times best sellers, but they need to be physical copies of books that I can have and hand out and sign.

My goal, and the reason I write NOW is to inspire, to instill hope, and to make people realize that this is a small world and no one is alone in it. We are all on the journey together, whether we like it or not. If we except it or not. We are all together.

If I can make just ONE person feel the way that I felt when I watched Julie and Julia then I’ve done my job and I can rest easy.

What famous books or movies inspired you to write or blog? Why do you write?

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